honestly so far school sucks...not because of teachers or homework..i know that that's school u know...what is making it suck is "friends!"..you know..."friends, it can be fun if you have one, if you have two they should both still support you..." that's part of this chorus I've been working on...i may use it some day...so...don't steal it (yea right)....but really man....best friends suck when they act like something WAAAAYYYYY less than that...i mean...sometimes its just me...u know..ima quote my friend Sayda "i hope it gets better though. i just need to figure some stuff out. i need to stop worrying about unnecessary things. they should be meaningless. itll get better:] it will."
that's how it is for me...at the moment really..and it sucks when u feel something...and your significant other cant feel what you feel u know...they'll know...but..haha trust me they wont know...they cant tell what type of shit ur going thru...all these emotions...and its unnecessary...because i have a girlfriend..so what does this broad have on me....a lot...BUT I DONT WANT ANOTHER FUCKING FRESHMAN YEAR... 2 much drama...2 much 4 me...like...im skinny..i know..im strong..but..if the emotion i took in was an actually weight..i wouldnt even be able to move it you know....i take in A LOT..on the inside..like people dont know how much...more than my body should take maybe..and i hold it in......and..yea...cuz things get weird sometimes when i release...things get weirder when i dont tho...i mean like..either way...idk...
you ever miss the old someone..and give them a new name...for example...(just an example)..."Brand New Marilyn"...u know like...u ever done that...because they seem to have changed..and u feel u stayed the same..and despite ur efforts to keep stuff cool...u cant help but feel...uncool...a friend of mine told me that maybe it was time to go seperate ways...maybe he's right...maybe he's wrong..maybe he's both......but that seems stupid...i just wanna know why there is always something wrong with me u know...i dont stay happy 2 long...im NOT OKAY with my life...like really....when i go deep enough into it...this summer...was...mostly great,...a rough start...ut i stayed happy most of the time...i was able to keep a really clear mind at work..just on music and work..but when ppl come around again..and u have a girlfriend..and stuff starts to seem different...it can really get weird...like...idk....and these kind of feelings..are really killing me inside...i could like go 2 a therapist i bet..but...u cant come 2 any conclusion about wats wrong...becuz it doesnt make sense..not even to me...sooo...even if we may come 2 so me sort of epiphany...its still like....im gonna go back 2 being that sad way...
i know how it feels...now im starting to feel like is me who fucked a lotta things up...sublimely..and now...things are falling apart 4 me..like they once did for others...but i didnt do anything wrong...just followed my heart...
he EXPLODES UNDER PRESSURE....
things can never go back 2 normal...what is normal..and is this difference felt...ppl can feel the same...sometimes they dont notice how much they change..like growing up....i can tell the difference in height if i think about it now...but in 8th grade...i didnt notice how muc i had grown since 6th grade...but i had grown..a lot...
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