as the days pass...

each minute is set in stone.

Weekend...

ima...write a lot tonight...meaning..some songs...and some parts of my essay -_-...i got...a nice amount of homework this weekend..for some reason im not sweating it like everyone else is......today was cool though...1st jazz band practice..well for the band im in..and 2 bad sultan had to leave for a doctors appointment...but i played the drums...sounded good all togetehr with a band you know...this where i beloing..haha..so yea...incase i dint say it..oviously..I MADE THE JAZZ AND....and so...we got practice on friday 7th period until 4:00...and monday...6th period...

so that should be cool

im listening to dont say a word by chino xl..produced by J Dilla...cool i know...


things are..good..and back to the normal un-norm...which is good...for my life..cause...normal..is bad...we are against the NORM right!...i've found myself...found my heart....but will freak out if i am left by my bestfriend...u know....

so yea...ima make sure i make tonight interesting...and seperate what i do by hours...umm..lets say homework for an hour...maybe 7..yea..i'll relax till 7...then at 7...i'll start some homework..mainly world civ...then at 8..write lyrics for an hour..maybe call some people at 9 before i go into the garage and start sampling old records...thats it huh...yea...and come abck in..and read some..and find some other hw to do maybe..2morrow ima still go do the beach clean up...yeeeaaa...

life isssssssss life...it is grand..it can be something that you cant stand...but in the end..its all about the hand, that you play...
and thats an original quote...by me...woo...

im out...for now..peeaaceee

the angels from my nightmare....

...we talked...as we usually do..and things ended up good...like they usually do..i have a better understanding of things...so...im not trippin...

i made it into the jazz band...im on the drums...as i should be.......homie sultan on the guitar..its gonna be dope.......

i am still being bugged about the fact that sayda and samaria think jeans hair is better than mine..and BOLDLY gave my hair the description of his...mine is more shapely...i know this...because i know geometry..and i have glasses incase my sights off...so...idk....fORgEt them.....lol

got my new turntable needle...ima sample using my Fantom X7 until i get the money for an MPC..well...christmas..thats all i want..its approaching that time..woot...woot...(i got that woot thing from sayda -_-)

check out the little homies though...

(left to right) Jesus, Sultan, Jeanette, & Darbie.lol..punny freshman..haha jk

The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly...

today..was cool...i started off at the boys n girls club of santa monica working at the pancake breakfast...that was cool...fun...i met this guy...who is gonna call me..and help me my music career along and all...see...i got connections...and we got all this stuff planned..he gave me his card and all..and i gave him my info...yea so..theres more to come on that..(right place, right time)

and uhh..after that i went to this young black scholars program..and saw three friends...one old...2 in my uran media foundation...and yea..that was cool..got some college info..and all that...then saw 3 other girls in my urban media foundation at my sisters girl scout meeting place type thing...and yea...didnt say anything to them tho..lol we've never talked..but yea...

ima probably go out...later tonight...and idk..do something...ima finish this geometry right now tho while listening to dilla stuff...

oh did i ever post that up?...if not...thursday night i bought DILLANTHOLOGY1 and Dilla DOnuts...n so yea..we all know its dope..so yea...im out 4 now

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

LIFE LIFE LIFE...as a sophmore

honestly so far school sucks...not because of teachers or homework..i know that that's school u know...what is making it suck is "friends!"..you know..."friends, it can be fun if you have one, if you have two they should both still support you..." that's part of this chorus I've been working on...i may use it some day...so...don't steal it (yea right)....but really man....best friends suck when they act like something WAAAAYYYYY less than that...i mean...sometimes its just me...u know..ima quote my friend Sayda "i hope it gets better though. i just need to figure some stuff out. i need to stop worrying about unnecessary things. they should be meaningless. itll get better:] it will."

that's how it is for me...at the moment really..and it sucks when u feel something...and your significant other cant feel what you feel u know...they'll know...but..haha trust me they wont know...they cant tell what type of shit ur going thru...all these emotions...and its unnecessary...because i have a girlfriend..so what does this broad have on me....a lot...BUT I DONT WANT ANOTHER FUCKING FRESHMAN YEAR... 2 much drama...2 much 4 me...like...im skinny..i know..im strong..but..if the emotion i took in was an actually weight..i wouldnt even be able to move it you know....i take in A LOT..on the inside..like people dont know how much...more than my body should take maybe..and i hold it in......and..yea...cuz things get weird sometimes when i release...things get weirder when i dont tho...i mean like..either way...idk...

you ever miss the old someone..and give them a new name...for example...(just an example)..."Brand New Marilyn"...u know like...u ever done that...because they seem to have changed..and u feel u stayed the same..and despite ur efforts to keep stuff cool...u cant help but feel...uncool...a friend of mine told me that maybe it was time to go seperate ways...maybe he's right...maybe he's wrong..maybe he's both......but that seems stupid...i just wanna know why there is always something wrong with me u know...i dont stay happy 2 long...im NOT OKAY with my life...like really....when i go deep enough into it...this summer...was...mostly great,...a rough start...ut i stayed happy most of the time...i was able to keep a really clear mind at work..just on music and work..but when ppl come around again..and u have a girlfriend..and stuff starts to seem different...it can really get weird...like...idk....and these kind of feelings..are really killing me inside...i could like go 2 a therapist i bet..but...u cant come 2 any conclusion about wats wrong...becuz it doesnt make sense..not even to me...sooo...even if we may come 2 so me sort of epiphany...its still like....im gonna go back 2 being that sad way...

i know how it feels...now im starting to feel like is me who fucked a lotta things up...sublimely..and now...things are falling apart 4 me..like they once did for others...but i didnt do anything wrong...just followed my heart...

he EXPLODES UNDER PRESSURE....

things can never go back 2 normal...what is normal..and is this difference felt...ppl can feel the same...sometimes they dont notice how much they change..like growing up....i can tell the difference in height if i think about it now...but in 8th grade...i didnt notice how muc i had grown since 6th grade...but i had grown..a lot...

1st day back at NRHS

but not 1st day of classes...

it was cool and weird at the same time, like mannnnnnnnn
i just cant tell u that much tho
i went to dennys with Yoelim jean thebe noah eric and alex...that was cool

then we kind of split up and it was just me Yoelim and jean...it was cool til yoelim reminded me that she was going 2 meet a guy...at the book store...so...i felt kinda like wtf...ut its cool...its all good.......

i shook marilyns hand...and had a blunt reasoning with her....
(i told jean, when another guys around, i'm not)...
i am just more fun when its like that...and idk...i prefer it that way with my BEEEESSSSTTFRRIIENDDD(singing)

so yea...as always im trying to...make some sort of plans or ideas for friday...im not making solid plans because i do not like to get my hopes up then get let DOOOWWWNNN

in addition to seeing a million familiar faces..and reuniting with people...i saw the movie "9"...it was a bit slow at the beginning but it got more interesting.that was cool...OHHH and who was there right next to us..why our good friends : Mac, Jess, Lucas, Quinn(and others who for some reason i can not remember the names or faces of...BUT i know them lol..i really do..)..oh and persia and jean...yea...but others i 4got...

i always went to this keystone meeting at the boyz n girlz club..(u'll never hear the end of that)

and yea...it was a nice day...2morrow is the 1st day of CLASSES...i'll let u know how that goes



OHHH
PS...i got some important stuff in the mail today...2 of my ebay orders
my CF card..and my 1/4" adapters...so i played my records loud inside the house...
and my bank statement...

so yea...who knows what the future holds..all i know is...........................

LEMME TELL YOU...

about Saturday...even though it was very short, it was very fun...all day i had been working...and i was tired..me and my mom were supposed to go school shopping...but she the bank was closed v_v...so i was bored at home......THEN this special lady was wondering what was doing tonight, because her brother and his girlfriend were hangin' out..and she was wondering if i could come...luckily i could...we were going to go see "Gamer" but because of curfew the people at the ticket booth wouldn't let Eulalia's brother get tickets for us...sooooooooo...we ended up getting in his car....and driving down to IHOP...i had a CD full of Dilla songs...so we listened to that while driving...he didn't have his awesome speakers with him v_v..but the bass was still producing a CHAMPION SOUND........we were laughing, eating, talking and all that...it was really cool...their cousin showed up..he was cool...lol...after eating...we embarked on an adventure...2 my house -_-...we had a dull doorstep conversation lol..but t ended in a hug and i'll miss you's...that made the night a million times better...even though we only hung out for an Hour and A Half...
=)

ok to put an end to all the mpc confusion

im gonna go with my instincts